October 25, 2003

    Today is my parents 29th wedding anniversary.  Happy Anniversary guys!  (Not that they read this.)

    I didn't get them a present or a card.  Maybe next year, the big 3-0, I'll make them dinner or something.  If they want me to.  My family is not big into the celebration thing.  Shorn's family is pretty much the opposite, which is perhaps why I enjoyed My Big Fat Greek Wedding so much.  I could relate.

    This disinclination to throw sudden, exuberant parties has never bothered me.  My mother, on the other hand, seems to get all distressed about it.  She doesn't really like big parties, she doesn't know that many people, and she has no desire to actually host a party, but she still seems to think that she should.  In fact, I learned a few weeks ago (while we were bonding over hair dye) that my mom considers it one of her major failures as a mother that I never had fancy birthday parties.

    "Birthday parties?!?!"  I replied incredulously.  Of course, it's not like I really had an alternative suggestion for her worst parenting practice.  She maybe could have paid more attention to whether or not I was doing my homework, and maybe let me get a mohawk when I first wanted one, instead of making me stifle the desire until I was fifteen.  But besides that, I'd have to consider her an excellent mom.

    And I had no idea that she had been harboring birthday party guilt all these years.  "What makes you think I ever wanted birthday parties?"  I asked her.  "I've only ever had three friends!"  Slight exaggeration.  Or not.  Depends how you define the word.

    "Oh."  She said.  "Well, okay.  That's good."  Problem solved. Guilt banished.  See the power of communication?

    So yesterday, when I was in the area, I stopped by to wish them a happy 29th. And I had no card or present or flowers.  So, for their anniversary, I changed the fluorescent bulbs in their kitchen so that my dad wouldn't have to.   And they gave me big sappy hugs.

    I guess that's just the type of family we are.