October 24, 2003

    Suddenly my life has structure.  Normally, this is something I would rebel against, but this time, I'm enjoying the sensation.  Structure in and of itself isn't bad.  It keeps me from having to decide what to do next, and (hopefully) from agonizing over what I haven't done.  And I suppose it helps that this structure is self-imposed, and that I am excited about the projects I'm working on.  Much better than the structure of, oh say...work and school.

    So anyway, now I plan on devoting all of November to writing, I know what I need to accomplish by the end of October.  I need to get my studying out of the way for my Human Development and Computers midterms, which happen in the first week of November (one, maybe both, happen on my birthday.  yee--haw.)  I need to write the little essay answer for my Anthro class so I get an A on the midterm I took last week  (apparently, the instructions said "answer the following questions", not "answer one of the following questions"  oops.  But the professor is lenient, and make-ups are allowed.)  I need to actually finish the latest incarnation of my website and get it up online, so that I will not be tempted to waste time fiddling with it in November (I'm almost done with this part).  And there are a few things I want to finish reading, or at least mostly finish, because I will be swapping a lot of reading time for writing time. 

    Whew.  Looks like a lot when I write it down, but I assure you, it's not that much.  And this is all stuff that I would be doing anyway.  The only difference is now I have a deadline, and an excuse to not be writing while I work on this stuff.  Since deciding to write again, I have been doing a lot of back-story, and pre-writing work, but I keep yelling at myself to just stop and write bulk prose.  But I feel like I'm not ready, and I'm hyper-critical of the few things I have managed to write. But with my new project, I have given myself official permission to not write until November 1, and to then write whatever crap flows out of my fingers, without judgment or doubt.  This idea has taken a giant weight off of my shoulders.  This will make an excellent beginning to the new year (some of you got that).  I am excited to get started.